An excellent Saturday in 20 easy steps:

1. Send the kids away, if any
2. Make sure you have a boyfriend [or girlfriend; boyfriend for this particular narrative] who adores you and who is your favourite company in the whole wide world
3. Go to an early movie and make sure it’s excellent [like f’rinstance Les Choristes]
4. Go home and put music on [like f’rinstance Joni Mitchell’s Mingus or Led Zeppelin IV. Or both in consecutive order]
5. Crack open a [half – don’t want to overdo it] bottle of Champagne [only the real stuff will do]
6. Eat oysters
7. Make sure your excellent boyfriend is an excellent cook
8. Let him see to the cooking while you provide the entertainment by standing around drinking red wine and being exceedingly witty and clever
9. Let him cook you, f’rinstance, lamb filet [that he has marinated earlier in the day with Icelandic herbs, garlic and such] with a delicate wild mushroom sauce
10. Eat
11. Laugh
12. Eat
13. Drink
14. Laugh
15. Get into heavy in-depth conversation about God, the Universe and the Meaning of Life
16. Load the dishwasher [not part of excellent fun, but necessary]
17. Fill bowls with Haagen Dazs ice cream
18. Flop on the sofa and find a movie with the worst possible acting you can think of
19. Laugh yourselves silly
20. Go to bed and do what you like.

… And then get up to the most beautiful weather you’ve seen in ages – brilliant sunshine, highs of 7 degrees Celsius, a whisper of springtime on the breeze. The sun came up at 8.17 and set at 19.02.