My bank’s been running this very persuasive ad campaign featuring an extremely happy-looking man and woman who exhort the virtues of investing in shares. In conjunction with this, the bank craftily offers a free course on learning to play the stock market through your online bank. YT allowed herself to be reeled in without any resistance whatsoever, particularly as the Icelandic stock market has been a-hopping since the beginning of the year and YT – who has a modest sum invested in some fund[s] noticed to her amazement that she’d actually made a wee bit of dosh without even lifting a little finger. Or any of the other fingers, either. [Because making money in YT’s case usually involves lifting and dropping fingers on a computer keyboard.]
On entering the hall where the course was held, the first thing I noticed [after the refreshments table] was that the course facilitators looked remarkably familiar. I… couldn’t… quite… place… them, though. Only about halfway into the course, when the one facilitator put this page up on the projector screen, did I realize that the course facilitators… were… actually… the same people featured in the ad campaign. Whoa! How’s that for fucking with your grey matter!? The same people. Don’t they know they’re supposed to use models for ad campaigns? And – not use models for courses on how to play the stock market online? … ?
Happy to report that the two models-slash-workshop facilitators were actually quite good at feeding information into the YT brain. Which must be considered a feat in itself, because to be quite frank YT’s interest in the stock market and all things related to it is approximately a few percentage points above zilch. I mean, I like making money as much as the next person, but until now the mere mention of stocks and shares and dividends and ‘smart investing’… has given me the creeps [although that feeling may well be related to a stint I once did as a temp at a stockbroking firm]. Even reading some of those weird Blogshares blurbs gives me the heebie-jeebies [… our analysts have been keeping a close watch on The Iceland Weather Report… after a sharp rise in performance… etc. etc.]. Who are those people? And why are saying all those things about my blog!?
Yet I am now resolved to start my day every morning by dutifully reading the e-zine that Íslandsbanki sends me, telling me all about indexes and market fluctuations and price-earnings ratios. I shall wring and twist my brain cells until they understand the true meaning of ‘performance’. And last but not least, I shall entreat my friends in America to SEND ME TIPS! because my newfound online-banking opportunities even extend to the US Stock Exchange. Yow.Sa.
AND I SHALL STOP THINKING ABOUT THE WEATHER
Because it’s turned freezing again. It was so beautiful earlier, temps just above zero, the sun just a little higher in the sky than yesterday, brilliant and happy, giving the brief illusion that spring was just around the corner. Now we have 0° Celsius, and the snow that had started to melt has turned hard and icy and in fact pretty lethal to those of us who occasionally like to go outside wearing smart boots with high heels. And I can feel my brain about to have a malfunction so I shall sign off now and bid you all a goodnight. Good Night. Sunrise 10.45, sunset 16.33.